7 Ways to Transform the Dreadful Pap and Pelvic Exam into an Empowering Experience
At one point in my life, I had such several stressful and uncomfortable pap and pelvic exam that I didn’t go back for years. It wasn’t a conscious decision, it was subconscious self-protection. I didn’t realize there was any other way, but there is! By practicing some of what I share here, you can leave your next appointment with more comfort, peace, dignity, and power.
In my work with clients, I often hear so much fear in regard to these exams, rightfully so. This includes:
inability to make an initial appointment
increase in pelvic pain or discomfort afterwards
severe fear and anxiety around potential diagnosis or test finding
gaslighting around their discomfort
feelings of pure violation
Sound familiar?
Here are a few ways you can enter into your appointment from a more empowered place—being the greatest self advocate for you, your body, and your sacred pelvic space. I encourage you to see yourself as part of your care team, and not simply a ‘patient.’
Get clear on your intention before going in. Is it: Greater connection with your body? Using your voice? Building trust with your body? Setting an intention calls in the feeling you are wanting in your appointment.
Wear something that supports you in feeling strong, powerful, and comfortable to the appointment. When we dress how we want to feel, this helps to shift the energy of the appointment. Cozy socks A MUST!
Tell your provider you’re working on shifting your relationship with your body, and connecting with your pelvic space in a different way (share your intention here). Most practitioners will welcome a patient that is invested in their health and well-being. If you don’t feel heard, this is the time to consider other options and find someone you feel comfortable with.
Request (tell) the your provider you’d like to play a part in inserting the speculum. This could be having a hand on the speculum, inserting it yourself, or simply speaking and controlling when the speculum is proceeding and when to stop. Playing an active part in inserting the speculum allows you to listen and build trust with your own bodies timing vs. having the provider insert on their timing. You can even purchase a speculum at home to practice with!
*A note on inserting the speculum yourself: This can be emotionally intimidating when we’ve been trained to feel the medical provider MUST do it; we might not trust ourselves. If this feels overwhelming to you at this time, it may not be time just yet. Take this all slow. Changes don’t need to be made all at once.
There’s often no need to use stirrups/foot holders. You can place your bent knees on the table or slide out tray (if they have them) and open into butterfly position. Often these stirrups make women feel trapped and stuck in a vulnerable position. This can be very triggering if you have an abuse or trauma history. Important to keep in mind, as most all people have had some form of trauma in their lives. If you don’t want to use stirrups, ask your doctor for other options.
Use deep breaths with insertion (of the speculum or digital insertion). When we’re tense, we hold our breath and this causes the pelvic floor to contract and guard. Active and conscious breathing helps you stay in your body and soften your pelvic floor for insertion.
Consider using a small vibrator over your public bone or clit prior to your appointment (in your car or a private bathroom). Especially helpful for those who have pelvic pain or history of painful sex. Vibration is extremely soothing to the nervous system, and supports in bodily relaxation.
Again, take this slow. Doing just one of these things can significantly shift your experience from dreadful to dare I say empowering!
Your provider might be amazingly understanding (mine was!) but also surprised by your self-advocacy. A strong medical provider will consider a patient’s feelings and viewpoints equal to any medical procedure that needs to be completed. This as also an opportunity for providers to grow and shift their care (medical providers are human too) for the benefit of their other patients as well. Your individual action could be greater bigger change for others.
Allowing only people you feel safe, heard and comfortable with to touch and enter your body is a form of self love and self respect. Consider sharing this with another woman you love. It IS possible to have a pap exam you don’t dread.
If you are unable to receive a pap or pelvic exam due to physical or emotional reasons, your body may be protecting you due to a past trauma or abuse. Receiving 1:1 support to understand and clear this energetic imprint can be extremely helpful. Please Book a Free Connection Call if you needing support.